A Sister's Birthday And a Father's Death Anniversary

Birthday is a day when celebrants usually prepare sumptuous buffet for the guests. A merrymaking day of balloons, games and similar stuff. Today however, is a different story. Yes, today is my sister's birthday but we are not only celebrating the gift of life given to her, because today, same day of her birthday, is the day of our father's passing.

I just turned fifteen when my father passed away. Old enough to understand that life is of great importance. It was raining hard and I was at my friend's house doing our school project in industrial arts. Then, i felt a surge of panic inside me, as if something hit me, as if was going to suffer from a heart attack. I mentioned it to my friend and asked for a glass of water. He thought i was just joking because i was known as a funny guy with lots of jokes ready to be delivered anytime. I started feeling uncomfortable. I don't know why.
It rained hard when i started to packed my things. My friend told me to stay and wait for the rain to stop before venturing back. That was a good idea I'm sure you will all agree however, something inside me was telling me to go home. The rain for that matter which was sooo hard, was like crying and feeling the loss already.  I went home.

I arrived around seven in the evening.When i entered the house, all eyes were on me. My little brother was crying, so as my aunts (mom's sisters). It didn't take long before i realized that something was wrong. My aunt told me to wait because my sister who was in Manila with my mom and pop will call me. The phone rung. I picked it up. I heard my sister's gasping for breath with sobs in between. Then, she told me something that I don't want to hear ever again. My world collapsed. I started to sob, then cried. I cried and cried and slept very late. It was very tragic.
The following morning, i thought everything was just a dream. My brother called me to have a breakfast. I saw his swollen eyes and the realization of last night's event came back. I went upstairs and cried again. I lost my appetite. After couple of hours, the phone rung with my mom on the other line, crying. She told me to book a ticket because pop's burial will be in his hometown. Because of the news, I went to school to tell my teachers and friends that I'm not going to be around for couple of weeks. I saw my classmates sad expression which add more loneliness to what i felt. But of course it made me feel somewhat alright because i know that they care. Then a little later, someone handed me a heavy little box full of coins. I didn't know that they entered almost all the rooms at school to ask for donations, and that they knew everything already. I smiled because it was a little heavy and I thanked them. They smiled back.

The trip to my father's hometown was like forever. I want to see pop even inside the coffin. Mom said we will be two days ahead of them. When i saw a coffin covered in carton, i started to cry. My mom, sister and relatives cried hard too. We were oblivious from stares of people around. I can't say much or even think of something to say. I was just crying. It helped my mind to somehow be occupied and not to think or do stupid things i will regret.

Eleven years have passed but nothing has change with what we feel during this day. It's my sister's birthday but our father's death day at the same time. Yes, we still celebrate my sister's birthday but not the usual celebration of balloons, games and similar stuff.

Read more: At Bukisa

Did it ever occur to you?

Sometime in our life, problems make us sooo weak that facing tomorrow with a smile is tough. We even blame everyone for all the misfortunes happening in our lives and worst yet, take our own life. These are just part of the human existence we face daily.

Not sure exactly why I'm writing this. Am i feeling weak today?  May GOD bless us all and may He give us the power to move forward.